The Colorado Buffaloes and the 2016 NCAA Tournament

There's no two ways about it, in terms of tournament seeding, this year's Pac-12 is a complete mess. After last night's drubbing by Arizona, the 12^th place Washington State Cougars have a 9-8 record. Their lone conference win came against a ranked UCLA team. UCLA beat #1 Kentucky earlier this season. Jacob Poeltl’s 12-5 Utah squad is 10th  in the division, with paltry a 1-3 conference record. This is a team that scored an upset victory over #7 Duke last month.

Joe Lunardi is predicting that 8 Pac 12 teams will take a trip to the big dance this spring. With all respect due to Mr. Lunardi, that seems like more of a hard cap than a prediction. 8 Pac-12 teams COULD go to the show, if a preseason sleeper like USC or Washington scored a narrow conference victory – a first place finish with a 10-8 record, AND 10 other teams split conference play at 9-9, meaning the last place team would finish with a 8-10 record.

RPI wise, that’s the only scenario where all ships rise with the tide. The problem with that situation is it might not give Arizona a high enough seed in the tournament. We’ve got to 7 other Pac-12 teams to seed behind them.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that all of the previously mentioned pieces fall into place. Then, in a best-case scenario, an unranked Arizona team wins the Pac-12 Tournament, and is issued a 4 seed. Are there enough slots in the bracket for 7 other Pac-12 teams? What if Arizona gets a 6 seed? I don’t see the selection committee allowing Pac-12 teams to play their way in on both sides of the bracket.

Of course there’s a less favorable side to a photo finish in the conference. If the last place team wins the Pac-12 tournament, then two teams are dancing instead of 8. The team that won the conference tournament gets an 11 seed, and Arizona gets a play in game. We hoist that situation upon the Pac-12 in the 2011-2012 season.

Just last year, Wyoming, a bubble team with a strong-ish tournament resume shut the door to a handful of highly touted mediocre basketball teams by winning the Mountain West Tournament. I didn’t lose too much sleep over Colorado State’s first round NIT loss, but I can’t imagine how upset I would be if something like that happened to the Buffs.

What all of this speculation amounts to is that the dream situation for the Pac-12, eight teams in the show, will leave three teams mumbling shucks as they toe the dirt of the NIT. I think a more realistic scenario is 7 invitations, or god forbid, a fifty-fifty split. Our confernce champion is going to have a record to the tune of 13-5.

What does that mean? That means our mighty Golden Buffaloes have their work cut out for them if they want to say on the plus side of my arithmetic, and in my mind, it all starts with Josh Fortune.  

Not pictured in his Buff's Jersey. He hasn't earned it.

Can someone give me a PER, or a plus minus on Fortune? The only time that he scores is when there’s a complete breakdown of the defense. Those wild layups he’s always missing in transition are coming after a perceived defensive breakdown, but Pac-12 defenses don’t break down the same way that Big East defenses do. Same for the threes, which always seem to come on switches, or against the zone, but haven’t been falling lately, because teams in the Pac-12 are stepping out his treys.

To put it mildly, the discrepancy between his conference play and his non-conference play is alarming. Let’s look Oregon State, by far his best performance of the conference season, where he scored 12 points, coughed the ball up four times, and defended like someone poured mustard into his eyeball before the game.

Think of Gary Peyton II as a tire. On Wednesday, George King came out, and knocked that tire on its side. When it was Fortune’s turn to guard GP II he picked the tire up, and started rolling it down a hill. We can’t expect anyone to completely shut down one of the best players in college hoops, but even in his best conference game of the season, Fortune’s efficiency was deplorable. Get him out of there.

Tad Boyle was toying with a lineup of Collier, Akyazili, King, Gordon, and Scott in the final minutes of our rout of Oregon State. He played Akyazili, Collier, Fletcher, Talton, and Scott as time wound down against Oregon. When teams have to double Scott, those lineups absolutely our best options. Gordon's a terrific shot blocker, and can score on the block in man coverage, Scott has been abusing anyone and everyone who comes near him in the paint, Collier can distribute, and hit the occasional 3, Akyazili can distribute, and doesn’t cough up the ball, Fletcher has great hands, and  Talton is our best free throw shooter. He decisively proved that he deserved Fortune's minutes by willing us to victory against Oregon.

Talton, pictured in a buffs jersey.

Especially when Fortune was doing EVERYTHING in his power to hand the Ducks a W tonight. 3/7, three boards, no assists, 7 points and six hundred turnovers. He turned the ball over after every made basket, and coughed it up a few more times trying to create a play. He sucks. Can we all agree that he sucks? There's no question that Tad Boyle needs to give all of his minutes to Talton.

Speaking of Boyle, our coach was correct to contribute the Utah loss to coaching. In a tie ball game, with 46 seconds left, you have to HAVE TO set up the one and one. You can’t win a rock fight if you don’t hurl the last stone. I’m not saying that Fortune did us a favor by lobbing the ball to Poeltl as the seconds wound down, but if Collier takes it coast to coast, then Fortune isn’t left on the baseline with his dick in his hands.

Even more damning was the decision not to foul, in a switch situation, when we were nowhere near the bonus. Utah got the ball with 16 seconds left. It took them 14.9 seconds to tear the still beating hearts out of the chests of the fifty or so fans who bothered to attend that game. I would have loved to seem them try to reset, and run that play with 3 seconds on the clock. Or with, 5, 7, or even 10 seconds to go. This isn’t one of my wild hypotheticals, we could have made Utah run that play four times, because the Buffs had committed a grand total of two fouls in the second half. TWO FOULS. Somebody’s gotta grab somebody, ESPECIALLY ON A SWITCH. Are you kidding me?

Enough of that. I’m not going to dwell on the past, because personally, at this juncture, I like our chances of getting our NCAA Tournament ticket punched. But the bottom line is we absolutely, positively, cannot lose another home game this season. Not because of Fortune, not because of coaching, not even if there’s a fire…

Go Buffs.

Don Draper and the Deplorable State of the Human Condition

Season six of Mad Men is off to a rough start.  I’d love to see the daytime soap that Meghan Draper (soon to be Calvet, trust me) is acting in, but I'd only watch one episode, because in terms of cinematography, costumes, make-up, and script quality, no soap-opera has ever been as good as Mad Men.  But thus far, the 6^th season of the series has been difficult for me to watch. 

Because the only charter that I like on Mad Men is Trudy Campbell.  After apparently getting his act together, a drunk Don is sleeping with his neighbors wife, (when this series started I thought that he was gay, now it's obvious that this whole affair is about feeling superior to Dr. Rosen.  Or he's in love with Sylvia.  I really hope Don isn't in love with Sylvia.) a boorish, racist Harry Crane is blackmailing his way into a partnership, Joan Holloway is a Misogynist, Michael Ginsberg is a Virgin, Abe Drexler is a kept man, Peggy is a snake, Dawn is an Uncle Tom, Meghan is weak, and Bobby Draper is Benjamin Button. 

After four episodes, I think that there is one question on everyone’s mind.  What the fuck is wrong with Don Draper?  To me, the best part of the series to date was the exchange between Don and Sylvia and the end of To Have and To Hold, the third episode of the 6^th season.

In the interaction, Don demanded that Sylvia remove her crucifix.  Sylvia demurred, pointing out that the crucifix didn’t mean anything to Don.  Don countered by telling his mistress that it meant something to her, and then he asked what Sylvia prayed for when she called to god.  Sylvia told Don that she prayed for him.  Sylvia prays that Don Draper will find peace. 

This exchange is meaningful.  It showed us that Sylvia Rosen was a woman of faith, and that Don Draper is deeply, profoundly flawed.  But we already knew that Don is not okay.  We know that he is a bastard, (literally and figuratively) we know that he was born to a whore, and that he spent his formative years in a brothel.  We know that he is a deserter, a fraud, a cheater, a womanizer, a homophobe, a workaholic, a hypocrite, and a terrible father.  But like Sylvia, I think that we’re all rooting for Don Draper to find peace. 

The real question is why are we rooting for such a despicable man?  Will our patience with Mr. Draper ever run thin?  This is a man who just admitted that his fake it till you make it plan for loving his children was a partial success, (I can assume that it worked for Bobby, clearly he has no feelings towards Sally or Gene).  Were it not for the tiniest glimpse of humanity after the assassination of Dr. King, (he offered Peggy a ride home from the awards show) I would say that Don was an inhuman sociopath, or perhaps the antichrist. 

As things are, it seems like Don Draper is just a guy doing the best that he can.  If this is the case, Don’s best isn’t good enough.  It’s not even close to good enough.  I’m not ready to give up on the booze swilling creative director, but I’m close.  For now, I’m with Sylvia- praying that Mr. Draper finds peace.  I pray that Mad Men never gets cancelled.  I pray that Bobby Draper stops aging in reverse.    

2013 Nuggets Playoff Preview

In my Nuggets mid-season report, I blathered on for 1900 words about how the quality of this year’s team was a refreshing surprise even to the most optimistic Nuggets fan (me).  I predicted 55 wins, a three seed in this year’s playoffs, and an NBA Championship.  Well, the NBA regular season is over, and YOUR DENVER NUGGETS finished with 57 wins and a three seed.  Are the Nuggets going to win an NBA championship?  I have no doubt that they are. 

As I see it, the only real question is can we hoist the National Basketball Association's coveted golden orb without Danilo Gallinari?  That’s not a real question; I’m being dramatic.  OF COURSE the Nuggets can win without their sharp-shooting small forward.  Galo is clutch, and I’m not trying to insult anyone here, but a healthy, driven Wilson Chandler is a better fit for the 2013 Nuggets squad. 

Again, trying to spare as many feelings as possible, but I’m not convinced that Anthony Randolph isn’t an adequate replacement for the basketball player formerly known as Italian Ice.  At 6’11, Randolph creates some match up problems in the three spot, and his takes are SO STRONG.  We don’t have to get into that part of Danilo Gallinari’s game- let’s just say I’d rather have Randolph touching my rack. 

With his rebounding prowess, an absent Kenneth Faried would be a impediment to our championship hopes, but living up to his nickname, the Manimal has stated, “if I can walk I can play,” and he figures to be back by game two of the first round.  Will his injury affect our team’s playoff chances?  I kindly doubt it, we’re talking about Kenneth Faried, NOT Kobe Bryant. 

Believe it or not readers, I’ve found myself at a loss for words.  This is by FAR the best Nuggets squad that I’ve ever seen. There is literally nothing that I can say to do this team justice.  All I know is that I am going to have the loudest, most obnoxious fan in the Pepsi Center during the playoffs.  I’m going to have the most-clever sign at our championship parade.  I can’t wait for the playoffs to start this afternoon.  

First round prediction:

 

Nuggets in 4. 

A Masters to Remember, A Masters to Forget

I’ve only hit a bet on a long shot one time.  It was the 2007 U.S. Open, and the field was going off at 50-1.  I came home from the bars a little tipsy on Wednesday night, and put 100 dollars on the opposition.  I felt a tinge of regret as a made my way to the opening shift at my golf internship the next morning, but that summer I was making enough money to go full scale degenerate.  I’d make the $100 back in a 9-point game that afternoon. 

I didn’t get to watch any first round tournament coverage, but I was very glad to see that someone named Angel Cabrera was one under par and in second place.  I thought to myself, who the fuck is Angel Cabrera?  Maybe the blind squirrel had found a nut?  Reality set in.  Not a chance, I reminded myself.  Again disappointed; I threw on a DVD (it was 2007) and went to bed. 

We all know what happened next.  Angel Cabrera won the United States Open.  He came from FOUR BACK to win The fucking Masters from the clubhouse.  At plus 5.  AT PLUS FIVE!!!

Seeing that no money had been transferred into my online gambling account, I made a phone call to the now defunct bodog.com.  The conversation went something like this:

(A gentle female voice) Bodog customer service.  Can I have your user ID and your password? 

(Me) Yes, log in HaMmErCoCk696969 password FuckBitchesGetMoney.

How can I help you Mr. Tull. 

I put $100 on the field for the US Open. 

Yes sir you did.

And Angel Cabrera just won the tournament.

That is correct.

If I’m not mistaken, he won this tournament from the field.

Give me one second while I check on that Mr. Tull.

About 10 minutes later, she came back on the line:

Yes sir, Angel Cabrera did win the United States Golf Open from the field.  Congratulations, we will transfer the funds to your account. 

Apparently I had bucked some kind of trend by betting on the Field in the US Open, but just like that, $5000 was transferred to my account.  I guess that I don’t need to tell you that I love Angel Cabrera, but I love him so much that I’ll be redundant.  I fucking love Angel Cabrera.  I love when he is in contention, and I love watching him play.  Bullshit penalty or no bullshit penalty, I loved this year’s Masters. 

As much as I don’t want to, let’s talk about that terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad penalty.  You can’t have dessert if you don’t finish your bustle sprouts.  

Everyone understands that Tiger made a mistake.  My social media feeds told me that the vast majority of casual golf fans thought that Tiger was cheating.  Tiger was NOT cheating.  The Rules of Golf are extremely hard to understand, and the rules relating to water hazards are especially convoluted.  If you don’t care about golf, or for whatever reason you think that Tiger is beyond redemption, you can skip this part.  For those of you who are confused, here’s my best effort:

In golf, there are two types of water hazards, hazards (sometimes called provisional hazards) and lateral hazards.  At a municipal golf course, a lateral water hazard would be outlined with yellow steaks.  If you hit into such a hazard, it is acceptable to draw a straight line from the hole to the point where your ball entered the water, continuing backwards for infinite length.  From a lateral water hazard, relief can be taken at any point along this line. 

A ball that enters a provisional hazard (staked in red at a municipal course) is treated as a lost ball.  In this case you can play another ball from the exact spot where your first ball was played, or you can take a drop from the closest point of relief from where your ball entered the hazard.  In this specific instance, Tiger was NOT allowed to take relief from four feet behind where he had played his original shot.

Tiger mistook a provisional hazard for a lateral hazard.  This is a VERY easy mistake to make, even when your adrenaline is not surging.  (Remember that Tiger’s first shot had bounced off the pin, and rolled back into the hazard, he wasn’t thinking about correcting a mishit.)  It is also important to remember that at Augusta National, water hazards are not staked.  From what I could see, lateral hazards were surrounded by yellow paint- provisional hazards had no distinguishing marks. 

He admitted to the mistake, there was no cheating.  I was very upset when I saw that people were calling for Tiger to withdraw from the tournament.  This year, the USGA and the R&A made a rule that penalties called in from TV viewers after rounds would result in golfers being assessed a two stroke penalty, and that these golfers WOULD NOT be disqualified for signing an incorrect scorecard.  This rule is more than fair (Nicklaus and Palmer didn’t have to deal with HD broadcasts or DVR’s).

On a base level, people calling for Tiger to take a trip to Dairy Queen have a flawed understanding of the rules of golf.  (This includes you, Rick Riley.) If you’ll allow me to dig deeper, most of these casual golf fans were just trying stir up a little controversy, and maybe boost their Klout scores. (Again including Riley.  What the fuck do you do for a living?)

Tiger withdrawing from The Masters after being assessed a two-stroke penalty would be akin to me committing suicide to administer my own capitol punish after receiving a photo-radar ticket.  This wasn’t an issue of integrity.  Any true fan of golf knows that Tiger scratching in The Masters would be devastating to the game. 

I have to stop; I’m going to get upset again.  

What else do I have to say about Tiger?  Not a lot.  He played well, really well, just not well enough to win.  If he had not been assessed the penalty, and we assume that fate is predetermined, Tiger would have come in at -7 and missed the playoff. 

I thought that -7 would hold up all day, and it’s not like someone had let me in on a secret.  If Tiger was closer to the lead would he have dug deeper and come up with two more birdies?  Probably not.  Could he have dug deeper and come up with two more birdies?  Probably not.  Will he win a major this year?  I’d bet my life on it. 

Jason Day lost the tournament when he bogeyed in on Saturday.  Even when he started with a birdie and an eagle on to get to -9 through two holes, I never gave him a chance.  Despite all the brain games he plays, the kid still seems like a bundle of nerves.  I wish him all the luck in the world, but I don’t see him racking notable wins anytime in the near future.  Great looking beard...

I wish that everyone would stop talking about how well Brant Snedeker plays under pressure.  He doesn’t.  The Heritage, and the FedEx Cup don’t mean anything; major tournaments and the Ryder Cup mean everything.  When he’s not smashing architectural models he seems like a nice enough guy, but let’s face facts here, Sneds-zilla is anything but clutch.  I can guarantee that the clubhouse tailors at Augusta’s clubhouse never even looked at his suit size.

You already know that Cabrera got me paid once, and he’ll always have a special place in my heart.  But I think I’d really like him even if he hadn’t won me money.  Watching him play in person in person is truly something special.  Cabrera CRUSHES golf balls.  His shots travel with a low, piercing trajectory that is the polar opposite of the balloon draws hit by every other player on tour. 

What’s more, El Pato can putt.  The dude can straight putt as well as anyone I’ve ever seen.  I thought the tournament was over when my main man Angel forced a playoff with that handsome Aussie, and he was mere inches from proving me right.  Alas, golf is a game of inches. 

Adam Scott.  What a dreamboat.  What a performance.  An 18 footer on the last hole of regulation to become the solo leader in the clubhouse.  A 10 footer on the second playoff hole to save himself a trip to Men’s Warehouse.  What a tournament.  What a way to end things. 

Both Scott and Cabrera did exactly what they needed to do to win the 77th Masters.  On the 74^th hole, one putt fell, and one putt didn’t.  Am I bitter?  Maybe a little bit- golf can be a real motherfucker.  Mostly, I’m ready to put all of this behind me.  Bring on The Open Championship, I have a feeling that 2013 is going to be a banner year for golf…

“You are the most self involved, presumptuous person I’ve ever met.”

Making sense of Season Two of HBO’s Girls.

I have a whole group of friends that stopped watching Girls this season.  They said that the show had lost its punch, and that they weren’t interested in sticking around to view a who’s dating who soap opera.  I’ve watched season 2 of Girls in its entirety,  (two times) and I don’t agree with this critique. 

The show isn’t bad, and it’s certainly not a soap opera.  Season two of Girls wasn’t as avant-garde as the first season, but I feel like that is tacit anytime you’re talking about the second season of a show.  Certainly there were elements of soap opera in the show, especially in the all’s well that ends well finale, but Girl’s is still incredibly gritty, and anything but formulaic. 

If I had to pick a word to describe the negative aspects of the show, I would use indulgent.  The show, especially season two of the show, is indulgent.  My adjective refers to Lena Dunham’s penchant for nude screen appearances, but the descriptor is also important when understanding how the show is structured. 

The first four episodes of season two were very similar to the first eight episodes of season one.  The storylines followed the lives, love lives, and zany adventures of a wayward group of recent grads (and Ray) in New York City.  Elijah played a bigger role in the first four episodes of the second season, and to me, he was a welcome addition.  Part of Hannah’s appeal in the show is that she is aloof and selfish; Elijah does what seems impossible by exaggerating Hanna’s negative qualities- and in the process she made me feel just the tiniest bit of compassion for her.  Can you imagine Hannah and Elijah dating?

The next three episodes were much less formulaic.  Critical reception for these episodes was mixed, but personally, I didn’t care for One Man’s Trash.  As much as I like Adam and Ray, I was pretty ambivalent about Boys.  It wasn’t my favorite episode, but in Video Games it was nice to meet Jessa’s father, and Hannah’s dalliance with a weird 19 year old really set the show back on track. 

These three episodes had limited cast participation in common, One Man’s Trash focused exclusively on Hannah, (Joshua, the handsy and handsome doctor might as well have been a coat rack) Boys revolved around Ray, and Video Games shed a lot of insight on Jessa’s unique condition.  In other shows one episode that features an incomplete cast can be written off as filler, but Girls racked off three such episodes in a row.  Something that occupies 30% of a season isn’t filler. 

Episodes 5, 6, and 7 of this season are perfect examples of the shows indulgence.  By doing whatever she wanted to do, Lena Dunham has been very successful in her career as a television writer/actor/director.  Weather we like it or not, Ms. Dunham is going to keep getter her way; it doesn’t appear that Girls is in any danger of being cancelled. 

In that sense, the broad focus of this season’s final three episodes was welcome.  In season two, Shoshanna has been my favorite cast member hands down.  I like Ray too, but I have to choose Shosh in the divorce.  During their breakup, she did a great job explaining to Ray that she wasn’t happy dating a cynic. Apparently she is happy making out with a hot doorman in a mailroom, or kissing a parted hair dork in a bar.  Though it was obvious that he adored Shoshanna, I think Ray is too smart to ever be truly happy.  Time will tell if the underemployed genius will cure the lack of motivation that is his most glaring flaw. 

We’ve always known that Marnie is pretty enough to do whatever she wants, and this season cemented that point time and time again.  In the “worst year of her life,” she was making $400 a day in a do nothing job, banging a “insanely talented” artist, and working to realize her dream of becoming a professional singer.  She is going to crush Charlie.  Poor Charlie…

A book deal, sudden onset OCD, an absentee best friend, parents who have just about had it, a TERRIBLE haircut, and a manipulative roommate are just the start for our protagonist.  Postgraduate years are difficult for anyone with artistic ambitions, but they have been especially hard on Hannah.  In all fairness, Girls wouldn’t be much of a show if Hannah had her shit together.  I don’t know where my rooting interests lie.  Actually, that’s not true- I’m rooting for Adam. 

In the final two episodes of this season it was very clear that Adam is a Sadist, bored by stability, and either really in love with Hannah or the type of guy who only wants what he can’t have.  Apparently I liked his new girlfriend much more than he did.  The worst part about Adam, and the worst part about Girls is the more I get to know Adam (at least season 2 Adam) the less I like him.  I hope his apparent reconciliation with Hannah will shift this dynamic.  

When it’s all said and done, I still really like Girls.  I also understand how some people quit on the show.  By placing so much emphasis on being different, Girls lost some of the hysterical magic that made the show the darling of the 2012 television comedy roster.  Conversely, the emphasis on staying different has reassured fans of Girls that the show isn’t going to turn into Friends any time in the near future.  I’m very excited for season three. 

 

Bewildered

HBO’s Enlightened as a tragicomedy.

 

I started watching Enlightened after it got this hearty endorsement from Chuck Klosterman.  In four paragraphs, Mr. Klosterman said Enlightened was:

  ·      Better than The Office.

  ·      The best show on TV.

  ·      Sure to be cancelled.

I trust Klosterman, (after all, he is The Ethicist) and am absolutely obsessed with the American version of The Office.  So I watched the first episode of Enlightened, and I was very surprised by what I saw.  Enlightened was not better than The Office, and it was certainly not the best show on TV, (2011 gave us season two of Boardwalk Empire).  On the third point, I agreed with Mr. Klosterman, I did not see a bright future for Enlightened. 

Enlightened was renewed for a second season, and I surprised myself by tuning in.  I think a large part of my loyalty had to do with the show being one of two comedies that Home Box Office Network brought back last year.  I understood the renewal of Girls, the first season was fantastic, and the buzz surrounding the series was unreal. 

But HBO is notoriously tough on comedies.  Bored to Death was an incredible show that was given the ax when its creator, Jonathan Ames, misjudged his viewing audience’s familiarity with the structure of hard-boiled detective fiction.  How to Make it in America was another great one; a boilerplate situation comedy with likeable characters, and carefully structured plotlines that always left me hungry for more. 

Executive producer Mark Wahlberg was reportedly very surprised when HBO passed on a 3^rd season of HTMIA, (as was I, Cam Calderon had just gotten his own apartment) but with the renewal of Enlightened, the no-go on Mr. Wahlberg’s project makes sense.  How to make it in America is literally the antithesis of Enlightened, if the latter show pushes the envelope, the former strains to keep correspondence in the mail slot.  There is nothing like Enlightened on T.V.  On the other hand, add a laugh track to How To Make it In America, and you have an episode of Martin. 

We are in the midst of a golden age of television.  Certainly timelines vary, but I would argue that this golden age began when season one of The Office got weird in 2005. The bone-dry mocumentry was a huge hit on prime time TV, and I believe the show gave television executives a little incentive to experiment.   

Even with the increased incentives, and even on subscription cable channels, bold The Office like gambles have been few and far between.  Off the top of my head, (but try as I may, I don’t watch everything. Please add to this list if I’m missing something.) the only real television experiments that I can think of are the gritty portrait of a mainstream Polygamist in Big Love, the rabid dog off his chain insanity of Breaking Bad, and the go fuck yourself domestic terrorist plot twists of Homeland.  

Enlightened is something else entirely.  Though they deal with difficult subject matter, Breaking Bad, Big Love, and Homeland are a lot of fun to watch.  Enlightened is not fun to watch.  Not even a little.

Does this mean that Enlightened is a bad show?  That depends on how you view television.  If television is pure entertainment, then Enlightened failed, and the show is a throwaway.  If television is art, then Enlightened isn’t good or bad, it’s “difficult,” or “challenging.” 

If television is art, Enlightened is genus. 

Every episode of Enlightened is well written, the acting is skillful, the editing and cinematography continually impress me, and the show is heart wrenchingly, devastatingly sad.  Like Updike’s Rabbit Redux, or this years French masterpiece Rust and Bone, Enlightened is finely crafted, hard to get through, and historically important to an artistic medium.

That doesn’t mean that Enlightened gets off scot-free.  If everything that’s right about Enlightened advances television as an artistic medium, then the show’s glaring flaw will undoubtedly result in a failed campaign for a third season.  Amy Jellicoe is THE WORST protagonist in the history of modern story telling.  In an earlier blog, I branded Jimmy McNulty with this label, because his actions we’re incomprehensible.  Now, I’m willing to concede that McNulty was insane, and only cared about getting drunk.  I’m ready to focus all of my hate on Ms. Jellicoe. 

Perhaps this is part of the shows genius, (I hated Marissa on The O.C. too) but Amy is exactly the wrong combination of ignorant, idealistic, conniving, and self-righteous.  Though by no means a picnic, the three most enjoyable episodes of Enlightened were (from best to worst) the show that focused on Levi, the show that focused on Tyler, and the show that focused on Helen (Amy’s mother). 

The biggest complement I can give the show is the biggest indictment of Amy as a protagonist, I would have loved to see an episode that focused on Dougie.  

 
I felt no satisfaction when (SPOILER ALLERT) Robert Szidon dressed down Amy in the series finale (don’t kid yourself, that was the last episode).  I truly hope the title of this show, Enlightened, is an ironic one, but I am completely certain there will be no third season to tell us if any good came of Ms. Jellico’s jihad. 

So, is Enlightened the best show on television?  Absolutely not. (Breaking Bad in a landslide, I’d also draft Mad Men, and Boardwalk Empire before the series, but I would put Enlightened ahead of Homeland after the (SPOILER ALLERT) pacemaker plotline in season 2, and, baring a HUGE turnaround in the last four episodes of this season, Girls.)

Is Enlightened the most important show on television? Yes.  Undoubtedly, the answer is yes. 

2013 Denver Nuggets Midseason Report

365 days ago the Nuggets went into the All Star Break on a 2-12 slide.  Midway through the 2012 season we were 20-20, suffering from a rash of injury related losses, and I had never been more optimistic about the team’s future. 

You’ll notice that in the previous paragraph I used the past tense verb, had, when I said that I had never been more excited about the teams future, because this year, the Nuggets are 33-21 heading into the All Star Break.  12 games OVER 500 and that’s before you factor in a late-midseason three game slide that consisted of:

1.     A triple-overtime heartbreaker that ended prematurely when Andre Miller suffered an apparent heat stroke.  What’s important about that game is that we had won an astounding 9 contests in a row when we made our way into Boston Garden.  It took the Celtics THREE overtimes to beat us at home.  Could they win four games in a seven game series?  Absolutely not.

2.      A gut-wrenching exhibition where Ty Lawson rimmed out a game winning buzzer beater.  What’s important about that game was that George Karl gave Anthony Randoph, and Julian Stone some HUGE minutes.  Also, our trap defense will be a huge asset against Memphis in the first round of the playoffs.  Can our first team trap like that? 

3.     A blowout in Brooklyn.  NOTHING was important about that game, it was a fluke.  Brooklyn isn’t a city or a state; it’s a borough!  I can’t wait to see Lena Dunham courtside with like Jay-Z and Rudy Giuliani.  Ya’ll mother fuckers make me sick. 

Enough with the bad, let’s focus on the good.  In January and February, the Nuggets won 9 games in a row.  We slumped into the All Star breaking winning 9 of our last 12 games.  SLUMPED INTO THE ALL STAR BREAK WINNING NINE OF OUR LAST 12 GAMES.   

GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD TO SAY THAT!!!!  The 2012-2013 Denver Nuggets are good.  Scary good.  We’re fucking scary good.

It goes without saying that a big part of our scary goodness is linked to the blockbuster trade that sent Andrew Bynum to Philadelphia, Aaron Affalo and Al Harirngton to Orlando, and brought Andre Iguodala Denver. 

Mostly because he’s the closest I’ll ever get to seeing a real life centaur, I’ve followed Iguodala’s career closely.  In all fairness, it’s MUCH easier to idolize Iggy when he isn’t anchoring your favorite team.  I have to say that it is absolutely maddening to watch the horseman shoot free throws, and that is doubly true in crunch time, but are the Nuggets a better team with Iguoldala at their core?   Yes.  Absolutely yes.

In the 2012-2013 Season we have also seen Ty Lawson mature into an all star caliber point guard.  True fans have surely blocked this from their memory, but every so often, immature Ty Lawson would give us a night where he grabbed a steal, went 2-14 from the floor, 0-4 from behind the arc, dished out 6 dimes, grabbed a rebound, and shot two of four from the charity stripe.  I truly believe that those 6-1-6-1 stat lines are a thing of the past for Lawson.  I’ve watched enough hoops to separate contenders from pretenders, and while he may not be shooting like a superstar (yet) Ty Lawson is the real deal. 

Kenneth Faired was a sold first round pick in his rookie campaign, maybe even a late first round steal for the Denver Nuggets.  This year, he is something else entirely.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen such improvement between the first year and a second year in the career of a player, not sure that I’ve ever seen such intensity, and I’m continually impressed with Faired’s basketball IQ. 

We all know the biggest knock on the Manimal has been his defensive positioning, but no one ever wants to talk about his positioning on offense.  The boy can cut!  Add that to an unquenchable hunger for the ball, and we have a Rising Star (pun intended, note the uppercase letters).  I hope Kenneth Faired wants to make a home/ career in Denver, because teams are going to be offering this rebounding sensation mad money when his rookie contract expires.

Danilo Gallinari could be the player that we thought he was when we gave him the 42 million dollar contract.  I still don't like him, unless he's making threes, and I HATE the Big Game Hunter nickname.  Italian Ice is way better.  Really, I just don't understand his rim game, sometimes his takes are so strong, some times his takes are pure garbage.   

I don’t want to get redundant here, but along with every casual fan, die-hard fan, beat writer, annalist, etc., I am completely in love with Andre Miller.  All this professor bullshit is played out (especially with the continued speculation that off the court, Miller is well, “special”) but when Miller has it going on, he can score at will.  Kevin Durant and Andre Miller have the same kind of bluster, and that swag is excellent for a team that can at times seem hesitant when it comes to open perimeter shots.  I can stomach the triple over time loss to the Celtics, shoot the ball till your fucking arms fall off Andre.  

Corey Brewer and Javelle McGee have been a lot of fun to watch.  The two of them have a maddening tendency to build up a little momentum, and to slingshot far outside the conceivable maxes of their playing ability, but on defense, McGee protects the rim like some kind of athletic chastity belt, on offense, Javelle is capable of making the lob city erected by the Los Angeles Clippers look like a humble New England borough.  Brewer is a tenacious defender, a hyperbolic overdrive feature on a run and gun team that sometimes (WRONGLY) seems as if it is speeding out of control.  

When you Google Wilson Chandler, the first thing that comes up is "Wilson Chandler Injury." It's a real shame, because when Chandler is healthy, he is a real asset to this team.  Right now, Wilson is our X factor, a la J.R. Smith.  I hope he can stay on the court.  I hope that he learns to love our fair city.  

I know it will sicken everyone reading this blog, but please, indulge me while I compare myself to a NBA player.  Basketball is bar none my favorite sport, but much to my chagrin, thus far in my young life I have found that I am much more skilled at games involving clubs and racquets.  As a coping mechanism, I’ve developed surprisingly solid basketball fundamentals, a strong defensive game, and an accurate 3-point shot. If you slag on defense, and I’m playing with people who know how well I can shoot, I will make 7 threes from the top of the arc, and send your team back to the whiteboard. 

Here, we have Kosta Koufos, an unremarkable player with solid defensive fundamentals who needs to be covered in man defense at all times.  This type of player can make or break at five-man squad.  Earlier this year, George Karl made a joke about teams guarding Koufos while he was standing out of bounds. 

That joke probably wouldn’t do very well at a comedy club, because if a defender came off out of bounds Koufos, he would wiggle his way to the rack for an uncontested dunk, or a semi contested hook shot.  Koofus throws a wrench in the gears of would be defensive rotations, and makes double-teaming inside the perimeter all but impossible.  His game isn’t pretty, but if I know one thing about hoops, it’s that basketball is not a beauty contest. 

I love Timofey Mozgov.  I love his size, love his tenacity, love his big man baseline J, and I love his fractured English.  I feel like a real traitor typing this, but have enough respect for our roster, and for our master plan to see that Koofus and McGee are better fits for our 2012-2013 squad. 

It kills me to see a young NBA superstar languish on our bench.  We need to free Mozgov so that he can get some minutes on a team with a big man deficit.  If we need to wave him, let’s wave him, if only for the sake of fans like me. 

Evan Fournier has an Andre Milleresuqe no hesitation 3 pointer that I'm very fond of.  The only difference is, and you can call me crazy here, but from my vantage it appears that Fournier actually leaves the ground when he shoots.  Thus far, the young Frenchman has not been called for traveling, and I’m excited that he may have discovered some type of basketball loophole.  Only time will tell.

If Anthony Randolph is a project on its last legs, it would have been great to have him 6 years ago.  I don’t think his circumstances are a dire as the analysts like to pretend.

Jordan Hamilton is really long, and from what I’ve seen, he has great hustle.  Who else wants to see him wrestle a snake?   

With that, we have the sum of all parts, the 2012-2013 Denver Nuggets.  Both Andre Miller and Masai Ujiri have been unbecomingly modest when describing this teams championship hopes.  When you consider their predictions you have to consider that Andre Miller likes to keep a low profile (he reportedly requested that he not be a captain on this years squad) and Ujiri appears to be a god damn sand bagger (if he didn’t think we were contending, he would have made a move before the trade deadline.  Clearly, Ugiri gives negative fucks about keeping this squad together.  We have A LOT of assets).

I’m speculating there, but I have literally never been this excited about the Nuggets.  I honestly don’t see anyone beating us in four of seven games.  When we lose, we are losing to bad teams, and lately we have been suffering some really tight losses.  Our 2012-2013 squad is better than our 2008-2009 squad (sorry Chauncey). 

So fuck it, I’m going to get crazy with this prediction.  I love what we’ve been building in Denver.  I really hope this isn’t the only time I get to make this prediction, but I’m ready to grab this fucking bull by the horns. 

The 2012 Denver Nuggets finish with 55 wins, and secure a 3 seed in this year’s playoffs.  They sweep the Utah Jazz, out run the San Antonio spurs for a 6 game series victory, and gut out a tough Western Conference Championship where they defeat Oklahoma City in a hard fought 7 games.  The Denver Nuggets will go on to sweep an aging, beleaguered Miami Heat to win the 2013 NBA Championship. I BELIEVE!

Let’s go Nuggets…